Monday, November 28, 2011

The Charedi Aseres Hadibros

Despite the generally very serious and reflective tone of this blog, I actually do have a sense of humor.

Therefore, for a little variety, I present the Charedi version of the Aseres Hadibros:

1. I am the Lord your God who took you out of Egypt. You must therefore believe in me, the authority of the Torah, and all rabbinic law that came after. 
2. Do not have any other gods before me. Therefore, one must not engage in any secular  activities that are not absolutely required. The rabbonim who have never worked get to decide what is absolutely required. 
3. Don't make any images of females, graven or otherwise 
4. Keep the shabbos holy by not doing any melacha, eating all of the shabbos foods in the correct order, and learning Torah at every spare second of the day. 
5. Honor your rabbis and teachers. This includes your parents if they teach you Torah, therefore you may not deviate from the minhagim of your parents even if the reasons for the minhagim no longer apply, unless it is to keep a more stringent minhag 
6. Do not murder, however beating-up dissenters is permitted 
7. Don't do anything "not tznius"
8. Do not steal anything from anyone who isn't the government or a large corporation 
9. Do not lie when speaking to the rabbonim, only when doing kiruv or for the purposes of a shidduch. 
10. Do not covet your neighbor's freedom, because it will lead him to gehenom anyway.
 Coming soon, the Chabad Aseres Hadibros


  1. This blog may be one of the strongest arguments against Lubavitch. In the interest of "loving Jews" they will do anything to pull in anybody to orthodoxy, and then these newcomers ruin it for everyone else.

    I really wonder if a more passive attitude, of waiting for secularists to come us when and if they want to, would be wiser.

  2. For the record, I actually came to Orthodoxy primarily on my own after doing research on the (then-primitive) internet. I then started attending the only Orthodox synagogue in my area which was Chabad and also attended NCSY. Then I moved somewhere else and transferred to a Litvish high school.

    Hey, but don't let the facts interfere with your argument.

  3. Funny.

    As for JP, ignore him. If you disprove his arguments he’ll just fall back on his favorite and accuse you of just wanting to justify your internet porn addiction. Since you’re a woman, if you’re really lucky he may even proposition and/or sexually harass you.

  4. So after all that, you just woke up one morning and said "Hey, wait a minute? What the hell am I doing with wig and dress on?"

  5. You can have done better, and I'm no fan of charedim at all.

    #9? I don't believe anyone is lying in kiruv (charedim or MO). They are wrong, but they aren't lying.

  6. JP, are you saying that Aish and similar organizations don't take a similar approach (pull people to orthodoxy) these days? If anything, it is Lubavitch that has the more passive attitude, because they (at least this is what they say) primarily try to spread Mitzvos.

    I can tell you that on my Campus, It is the Aish guys that are way more aggressive.

  7. I have doubts about that kind of approach. Seriously, you end up with too many people who later on just ruin other people's lives.

  8. JP,

    The answer to that can be found in my other posts. I did come to this on my own, and now am leaving based on what I have seen and learned.

  9. I did look just now back at your first posts. didn't see anything.

  10. and just incidentally, if "seeing and learing" more about Judaism turned you off, after you were sure it's for, how do you know that "seeing and learning" more about general society won't have the same affect?

  11. where is the sense of humor its very seriuos

  12. I do not see any humor in this, only bitterness. I happen to think you are giving a more or less accurate account of how many people within "frumkeit" view the Torah, but it's not funny.

  13. No, yossi. But JP jumping to conclusions without facts is - since it is true to form - as is FS' dry-wit response.

    Over the past 30+ years, the frum (MO and Charedi) communities have become more financially secure and the perceived existential threat to Jews has waned due to the State of Israel. In this environment - i.e., without a real struggle to survive - we have become complacent and simplistic [sorta like Republicans -> Tea Party]. It was easy to retreat into "consistency" as choices were far less wrenching to make. But that cycle has reversed, and life has become far more complicated. Our simplistic children are not getting jobs; the massive increase in avreichim along with the phenomenal growth of their family size has started to strain the model - emunah doesn't pay the bills. Combine that with increased awareness and accountability in issues like pedophilia (and the cover ups) within the Jewish religious community, and you have an environment ripe for exactly the crisis of faith that is rapidly expanding in our community.

    Now we have to learn to struggle.

  14. "Combine that with increased awareness and accountability in issues like pedophilia (and the cover ups) "

    I think you're confusing college sports with Judaism. Common mistake.

  15. JP - You must be kidding. Are you that willfully ignorant? Well, since you are at least computer literate, I offer the concrete examples links below. I also encourage you to read through the blogs (Harry Maryles is the best on the topic) about the painfully long effort of the Agudah leadership to minimize offenders accountability to the outside world - essentially a policy of cover up.




  16. The fact that Jews are basically evil, but are so tricky that we seldom get caught has been known for centuries.

    Martin Luther wrote in the “The Jews and Their Lies” chapter XII: “They deny just as brazenly as they lie. And wherever they can secretly curse, poison, or harm us Christians they do so without any qualms of conscience. If they are caught in the act or charged with something, they are bold enough to deny it impudently, even to the point of death, since they do not regard us worthy of being told the truth. In fact, these holy children of God consider any harm they can wish or inflict on us as a great service to God. Indeed, if they had the power to do to us what we are able to do to them, not one of us would live for an hour. But since they lack the power to do this publicly, they remain our daily murderers and bloodthirsty foes in their hearts. Their prayers and curses furnish evidence of that, as do the many stories which relate their torturing of children and all sorts of crimes for which they have often been burned at the stake or banished. Therefore I firmly believe that they say and practice far worse things secretly than the histories and others record about them, meanwhile relying on their denials and on their money.”

    There you have it, from a real man of God. Secrets, lies, denials. Torturing children and "all sorts of crimes" (Pastor Luther didn't want to go into explicit details, but I'm sure you get his drift!) and covering it all up. It really makes you wonder why the Holocaust didn't happen soon; how did the patient Germans suffer so long! 

  17. "and you have an environment ripe for exactly the crisis of faith that is rapidly expanding in our community."

    Just incidentally there have always been drop outs and traitors. Just check out the Hanukkah story which we're celebrating in a few weeks. To a large extent it was a civil war of Hellenized Jews vs orthodox.

    Who won? Where are the Hellenized Jews now? 

  18. Your 10 Commandments are pretty good! I have a slightly different view on some things, but I like your thoughts here.